| |
| |
|
Faith411.com - Stress Management |
|
|
|
Vital information and articles related to Stress Management.The Jerk is Never Me
Comedian George Carlin once remarked, "Have your ever noticed? Anyone going slower than you is an idiot. Anyone going faster than you is a maniac." When we observe someone else's behavior -- especially negative behavior -- we attribute it to their personality. But when we make a mistake ourselves, we are inclined to blame the situation. Thus, when I'm driving fast, it's not because I'm a "maniac" but because I'm in a hurry. My fast driving is no reflection on my character, but rather the result of a rushed situation. Similarly, if you accidentally break something, you tend to explain it as caused by the situation, e.g., that the object was slippery or that the handle came loose. On the other hand, if your child breaks something you are more apt to conclude that he's careless. Here's another example. Suppose your spouse or roommate asked you to pick up some milk on the way home, and you forgot. You'd probably explain your forgetting in situational terms, e.g., that it was a busy day or that more important things were demanding your attention. Now assume the tables were turned, and it was the other person who forgot to buy milk. Quite likely you would view this lapse as a reflection of their personality; e.g., that the other person is inconsiderate, insensitive or perhaps just plain stupid. This discrepancy in how we explain our own actions, as opposed to those of others is called the "fundamental attribution error." It's always the other guy who's the jerk. Psychologists have been studying this phenomenon for several decades, and offer the following explanation: When we watch other people, we notice their behavior more than their situation. Conversely, when observing ourselves we are more attuned to the situation than to our own behavior. Another reason for the bias in attribution is that it preserves our self-esteem. After all, if I accidentally break something, it is more desirable for me to look to the situation for an explanation, rather than to attribute it to a personal defect. But this bias in attribution can have unpleasant consequences. When you look to circumstances to explain what went wrong, you are more apt to assign blame. This in turn fires up your "inner brat" - that immature part of your psyche that whines and complains and tries to convince you that your misery is everyone else's fault. People with strong inner brats are never happy. How do you know if you are making too many attribution errors? Ask yourself if any of the following apply to you: -- You are in the habit of judging others -- People describe you as critical -- You make excuses for your own mistakes -- You feel like a victim much of the time -- When something goes wrong you blame other people -- You walk around feeling angry or resentful -- You have contempt for others, for no particular reason If you recognize yourself in two or more points in the above list, your inner brat needs to be tamed. The first step is being aware of how your inner brat distorts reality, exaggerating other people's faults, while minimizing your own. Once you make a concerted effort to view your own and other people's behavior in a more balanced way, you will be surprised to find that most of the "jerks" in your life have disappeared! ---Copyright ©2005 Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004) She is also a life coach. Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.
MORE RESOURCES:
Stress-Management - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Myth Busting: What Causes Mental Breakdown? I came out of a nightmare 5-year period of anxiety and depression and I did it without taking any drugs. What frustrated me is that despite advances in understanding as to why people become stressed, depressed and anxious, sufferers are still told numerous myths about what causes their illness. How to Relieve Stress One question that is not asked enough by people under stress is how to relieve stress. Unfortunately, people who are under stress tend to simply take it as a matter of course and simply accept its existence as though it was some sort of natural occurrence, or even a boon! Thus, people who are feeling the effects of stress do not actually take the time to notice that they are under stress and need relief. Brain Diet : Right Diet prevents Memory Loss These days, when people have become so conscious about what they eat and how it affects their body, they don't realize that eating same food helps their brain to grow and make it more healthy. According to studies, right diet can help prevent memory loss. Stress Management: 5 More Things to Clean Out of Your Mental Closet ResentmentsA wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is like trying to crush a sandspur between your fingers. You might eventually do it, but it sure is going to hurt you in the process. Setting High Personal Standards In his book, The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness, author Greg Anderson wrote, "Let us be about setting high standards for life, love, creativity, and wisdom. If our expectations in these areas are low, we are not likely to experience wellness. Stress And Anxiety - Take Charge Of It! Have you ever noticed what occurs when you are suddenly thrown into a high tension situation?Does any of this sound familiar?* Raised pulse* Short faster breaths* Shallower breathing* Feelings of losing control* Limbs twitching and/or shaking* Feeling hot and clammyOK, there may be more, but I think they are a good start.If you answered no to all of them then, CONGRATULATIONS, you don't suffer from stress (or any human emotion) at all!Seriously though, such feelings are often the reason why people suffer from stress and anxiety in their everyday lives and, this is the point,EVEN WHEN THEY ARE NOT IN STRESSFUL SITUATIONS!The stress they feel regularly in pressure environments does not leave them and this leads to extended periods of tension, headaches, poor and shallow breathing, and oftenleads them to indulge in vices that exacerbate the problem. Through Stress Comes Kindness In these times when companies are constantly down-sizing and right-sizing there is always a lot of stress. The stress comes first from the rumors that it may happen, then the actual doomsday when it happens, and then the aftermath of finding out how the company is going to operate. Stress Management and Mastery: How to Handle Change Q. I have just recently come to recognize that I don't handle change very well, although my husband and friends have told me that for years. Stressed Out? It May Be Your Job "I'm stressed out."If you find yourself thinking--or saying--this on a regularbasis, you might have a real problem on your hands. Getting Rid of Your Frustrations Punch a pillowScream into a pillowTurn on your favorite music and dance, sing.. The Epidemic of the Eighties is Still Here IntroductionTime magazine called stress the "The Epidemic of the Eighties". Stress isAmerica's #1 health problem. Adventures in Relieving Stress Whether we are at work, traveling, or at home, we've all had bad days. Those stressful times can be difficult, but important, to shake. Stress Managment and Mastery: 7 Ways to Take Yourself Off Restriction Q. So many times in my life, I seem to hold myself back from what I want to do. Quick Steps On Handling Stress Looking for some quick stress relief?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and TV show host, who specializes in quick tips on how to move your life ahead even faster, offers the following advice. Entertaining Without Stress Let's face it. If you are stressed, agitated and flitting about, your guests will be uncomfortable and won't be able to relax. Calming The Voice of Stress But how can this happen to someone?Let's concentrate on how these illnesses affect the way we value the self. Of all of the destructive patterns of behavior these illnesses cause, the way a sufferer talks to the self is the fuel that maintains their illness. Combat Stress by Creating Your Own Oasis Stress and anxiety can prematurely age our mind and body. If not dealt with effectively, chronic stress and worrying can place undue strain upon our cardiovascular and immune systems. Stress Management Techniques Self-Care Strategies:Substantial breakfast dailyRegular sleeping habits (minimum of 7 hours)No smoking Moderate use of alcohol, caffeine and other drugsMinimal intake of sugar & highly processed foodsMaintenance of proper weightRegular exercise programDrink much more water than you usually do.Relaxation Techniques:Jog in place or do jumping jacks-count to 300Roll head and torso from side to sideTense your muscles individually, then relax themPull seat of chair for 5-count: repeat with legs xtendedTake a deep breath to count of 4, exhale to 4, and repeat 4 timesMassage your forehead or temples; repeat the word "calm"Try to walk at least 10,000 steps a day. How To Put An End To Loneliness Loneliness and separation are the real illness of our times. While we urgently need true communication, instead we often find withdrawal, games and lies. Stress Management and Mastery: Watch Your Language "Watch your language."We all heard this admonition as kids and probably say it to our own kids as well.
|
|
Stress Management Articles Home Page | Stress Management Articles Site Map | News | Faith411.com Home Page EZmatic.com | IgoJo | UpBee | Blue Ryder | Health | ZippyGo | Ken J Wagner Faith411.com - all Vital information and articles related to Stress Management. |
| © 2006 |