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Faith411.com - Happiness |
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Vital information and articles related to happiness.No Happiness Without Patience
I'm searching for modern happiness. The old-fashioned kind takes just too long. That happiness requires patience and I don't want to wait. I want upgraded happiness. I want release 4.02, the "new and improved" version. This is the 21st century and I demand instant gratification. Once upon a time, you had to wait to eat your meal. Even when the Mammoth Burger walk-through was open, they offered only self-kill meals. And when you brought them home, you still had to get the fire started. "What? Mammoth burger again? How you cook?" "Ugh. Start fire for cave lady." "Hah. You probably burn cave down." "Hah you. No can burn cave down. Buy insurance policy." "How you start fire?" "Rub two fingers together. Make big flame. Cook mammoth burger." "Last time you burn fingers." "Yummy." Nobody lights a fire these days. People don't even light ovens anymore. It takes just too long to heat up a meal. It takes just too much patience. I'm hungry now, not 40 minutes from now. That's why God gave us microwave ovens. Just pop the food in and whrrr -BEEP- out it comes, nicely warmed for immediate consumption. That's how I want my happiness - toasty warm and right now! "Ooh. No more burn fingers." Consider the Internet. You type "electric toothpicks". You hit "enter". Google responds: "Search took 1.02 seconds." "Seems kinda slow," you think. "Google is ready for the geriatric ward." You click on the first result - something about an electric eel eating a balanced breakfast - and a blank screen appears. You wait. TRIVIA QUESTION: Did you know that Shakespeare once waited almost twenty seconds for a web site to appear, so he could find a word that rhymed with cardiologist? The web site finally appeared in 1997, but he had given up waiting by then. Five seconds pass. Time's up and still not site. Your instant gratification cells have been offended. You surf to another site. "Ugh. No get Mammoth Burger web site. This thing no work." "That thing rock." "Rock broken. Go to mammoth burger walk-through" I don't want to walk to get happiness. I want it delivered now. Not twenty seconds later, even if it does rhyme with cardiologist. Not 1.02 seconds later. I want happiness now. Remember the olden days when you had to extract your posterior from the couch to change channels? That took such a monumental effort that most people sat through whole television shows without changing channels. Of course, that might have been because the other channel was playing Lawrence Welk. Back in the two-channel universe there was always something on. Now we flip through 472 channels, which keeps us busy while wishing for something worth watching. Thanks to the remote control, affectionately known by its technical term - the doodadder - we can flip channels at a relaxed pace of 15 to 20 per minute without even breaking into a sweat. Imagine our body odor if we had to extract our posteriors from the couch each time we change channels! "Ugh. No like show. Change channels." "That thing rock." "Rock need more channels. This play only test pattern." Happiness should be like television. If I don't get instant gratification, I should be able to change channels with a zap. The checkout clerk who doesn't care...ZAP! The driver kissing my rear bumper...ZAP! The loudmouth yakking in the cinema...ZAP! The telemarketer who calls during dinner...ZAP! Come to think of it, all those annoying people in my way at the grocery store, at the ticket booth, in the parking lot, in the waiting room...ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! "Miss Wooly no give me mammoth burger." "What you do?" "I zap her with club. Take mammoth burger." "Ugh. You invent self-serve." Sigh. Happiness is not like a microwave oven. Nor like the Internet. Not even like a doodadder. Happiness does not run on the instant gratification system. Happiness takes patience. Lord, please grant me the patience I lack...and I want it now! About The Author The author is David Leonhardt. Sign up for his weekly satire column up at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html or read more columns at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html. Or join in the happiness at http://www.thehappyguy.com.
MORE RESOURCES: table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/0-0fd=Rurl=http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28505633/cid=0ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNEYALjzHrOX4hPHvQzU9Bk4tiuT9gTo find bhappiness/b, turn losses into wins/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fMSNBCnbsp;-/font nobr6 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1In quot;The Great Eight,quot; gold medal Olympian Scott Hamilton reveals the secrets to bhappiness/b that helped him through his battle with cancer. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/1-0fd=Rurl=http://morganhilltimes.com/news/252338-happiness-in-hockeycid=1287370529ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNGILaekPSfSs68UouXiRsAq8a2CbAbHappiness/b in hockey/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fMorgan Hill Times,nbsp;CAnbsp;-/font nobr3 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1At the Sharks Ice in San Jose, a hodgepodge group of men sporting full hockey pads, carrying sticks and wearing face masks emerges from the rink-side locker b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/2i-0fd=Rurl=http://www.syracuse.com/today/index.ssf/2009/01/happiness_flows_through_social.htmlcid=1287222093ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNEjuHR_GbcXXsd7GFvfWKkP0t5fywimg src=http://nt1.ggpht.com/news?imgefp=OVNLEkKLHkAJimgurl=blog.syracuse.com/today/2009/01/medium_090105_smiley.jpg width=80 height=73 alt= border=1brfont size=-2The Post-Standard - Syracuse.com/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/2-0fd=Rurl=http://www.syracuse.com/today/index.ssf/2009/01/happiness_flows_through_social.htmlcid=1287222093ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNEjuHR_GbcXXsd7GFvfWKkP0t5fywbHappiness/b flows through social networks/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fThe Post-Standard - Syracuse.com,nbsp;NYnbsp;-/font nobr15 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Research published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ) followed over 4000 people for 20 years and determined that bhappiness/b spreads through social networks b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/2-1fd=Rurl=http://www.venturacountystar.com/news/2009/jan/04/smiles-all-around/cid=1287222093ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNGVY1eO1hFw9e6wdOZwz_Nkh-woCANew study shows one person#39;s bhappiness/b is spread to others/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrVentura County Star/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1287222093hl=ennobrall 3 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/3-0fd=Rurl=http://www.seniortimesmagazine.com/perspectives-on-aging/621/the-foundations-of-happinesscid=0ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNFvdcNkL1hj3rCNKcY10COPemfikQThe Foundations of bHappiness/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSenior Times,nbsp;FLnbsp;-/font nobr8 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By Carlos Muniz - January 2009 It is bhappiness/b that we all want out of life. Riches, power and all other material accomplishments are things we all strive b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/4-0fd=Rurl=http://www.goerie.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article%3FAID%3D/20090105/NEWS02/301059911/-1/NEWS02cid=0ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNF1ED5KfhVHgMXY5VVdxzxitHG6nQKeys to bhappiness/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fGoErie.com,nbsp;PAnbsp;-/font nobr17 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By JENNIE GEISLER It#39;s lunchtime in Fairview Manor#39;s cafeteria. Trays clatter on large sturdy tables, chair legs scoot across the tile floor, b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/5-0fd=Rurl=http://www.news-leader.com/article/20090105/OPINIONS03/901050317/1006/OPINIONScid=0ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNG6xDcy5M3rpTdAi3y3lmS4EtSMbQMoney troubles mask bhappiness/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fNews-Leader.com,nbsp;MOnbsp;-/font nobr20 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Growing up you always hear the old adage, quot;money can#39;t buy bhappiness/b,quot; but I can#39;t help but feel like that saying is quickly lost with childhood innocence. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/6i-0fd=Rurl=http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1106236/Feeling-blue-Good-news--colour-happiness.htmlcid=0ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNFjjsT_17cfiSNRtLGiIFusCp75cwimg src=http://nt3.ggpht.com/news?imgefp=txbj850wwDkJimgurl=i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/01/06/article-0-026ABD99000004B0-307_233x423.jpg width=44 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Daily Mail/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/6-0fd=Rurl=http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1106236/Feeling-blue-Good-news--colour-happiness.htmlcid=0ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNFjjsT_17cfiSNRtLGiIFusCp75cwFeeling blue? Good news - its the colour of bhappiness/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fDaily Mail,nbsp;UKnbsp;-/font nobr4 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By Fiona Macrae Although long associated with negativity, the colour can send self confidence soaring, cut stress and boost bhappiness/b, a study has found. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/7-0fd=Rurl=http://www.kansascity.com/238/story/961924.htmlcid=1286620131ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNGVct8nX5U7dOXMSXx1ntruO_1ZUABilly Graham: Lasting bhappiness/b comes from knowing God/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fKansas City Star,nbsp;MOnbsp;-/font nobrJan 2, 2009/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1In other words, they know from their own long experience that only Christ gives us lasting peace and bhappiness/b. Jesus’ words are true: “I have come that b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/8-0fd=Rurl=http://www.hometownannapolis.com/cgi-bin/read/2009/01_04-55/LIFcid=0ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNGhmf2lD3ouM_V-BpOMumsPB_rLAgAchieving bHappiness/b: Healthy New Year#39;s resolutions/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fAnnapolis Capital,nbsp;MDnbsp;-/font nobrJan 4, 2009/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Relying on outside sources to bring you joy isn#39;t always possible, but setting these as your goals can bring bhappiness/b to your heart. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=Tct=us/9-0fd=Rurl=http://www.southtownstar.com/lifestyles/vickroy/1359378,010409vickroy.articlecid=0ei=cupiSdmbFaXfmQeXgOH4Awusg=AFQjCNFt7dkQIHLof6ypoZExHki0sM_mkAGot joy? bHappiness/b is a worthwhile pursuit/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSouthtown Star,nbsp;ILnbsp;-/font nobrJan 4, 2009/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Why the University of Pennsylvania even offers a master#39;s degree in positive psychology, aka bhappiness/b. Happy people are more likely to get married, b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table Happiness - Google News |
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