Grief & Loss


Grief and Loss Home Page | Faith411.com Home Page

Vital information and articles related to greif and loss.


Men and Grief


Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it difficult for men to look for support, and harder again to accept it. Men are so often silent, solitary mourners who immerse themselves in activity and private, symbolic rituals. They feel profoundly, but often can't express the depth of their loss.

A man is supposed to be "strong," to support, to cope, and to plan in the aftermath of loss. His own pain must be put away.

Grief doesn't discriminate between gender or culture. Our society has placed clear expectations and requirements upon our roles as men and women. Boys learn quickly what behaviour is considered inappropriate through such statements as, "Stand up and take it like a man." "You're the man of the house," and the insidiously cruel "Big boys don't cry."

Male grief tends to have four main characteristics.

1. Moderated feelings
Men have deep feelings but don't express openly, a more readily available feeling is anger. Men deal with their real feelings by redirecting their energies.

2. Cognitive Experience
Men work more with cognitions explaining their grief or with problem-focussed strategies that help them adapt and protect.

3. Problem-Focussed Activity
Men may adapt to loss by practical hands-on finding solutions to problems associated with the loss.

4. Desire for Solitude
Men don't seek support groups. They want to master their own feelings and also reflect the more practical behaviour involved in adapting to a loss.

Societal Demands on Men
Men are expected to be "in control" of life's demands and have to submit to the following demands society has placed on them. They're expected to :-

· remain emotionally and physically strong
· always be rational
· don't cry or publicly mourn
· don't ask for support or affection --- be self-sufficient
· remain as non-expressive as possible
· provide, not nurture
· shake hands, don't hug.

These generalisations continue to hold their power over men in pain. Let's take the old myth about crying. The truth is it takes a truly strong man to be able to cry. Acknowledging that each of us grieve in very different ways can allow men to cope with loss and pain using their own various coping methods. We all grieve despite our gender, race or culture. We grieve because we have loved and, through our journey, we can be healed.

Tears are a gift
Grieving men need to hear that their tears are a gift to help their healing. Men have historically been fobbed off and denied this important gift. We need to open up to how men grieve and start sharing thoughts and feelings in a more meaningful, supportive way.

The realisation that grief can be a constructive, healing process, which can be shared with others, can inspire us all to be intentional in our grief process.

Susanna Duffy is a Civil Celebrant, mythologist and grief counsellor. She is a creator and guide of Rites of Passage for personal ceremonies and civic functions. Website: http://celebrant.yarralink.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Teen on probation for fatal crash
DetNews.com, MI - 17 hours ago
A psychological evaluation was ordered to determine what type of counseling program she will attend. "It's important that you work through the grief, loss ...


Human Face : Faint Church presence in sea tragedy / Ma. Ceres P. Doyo
Inquirer.net, Philippines - Jul 2, 2008
It helps that one has experienced overwhelming grief, loss, failure and rejection in this life. It helps that one has known numbing shock and what it’s like ...


PATRICIA SHEEHAN -- Fireworks and more to light up your summer
Caldwell Progress, NJ - Jul 3, 2008
Bereavement Support Groups sponsored by INTERREGNUM: Grief, Loss and Transition Services are held from 5:30 to 7 pm in Roseland and Short Hills on ...


Daily Planner: July 3
Enterprise-Record, CA - Jul 3, 2008
GRIEF, LOSS SUPPORT: 11 am-noon. Help through grief and loss associated with daily living. Butte County Behavioral Health Drop-In Center, 109 Parmac Road, ...


Our memories of Ryan Ellison will always be precious
Beckley Register-Herald (subscription), WV - Jun 19, 2008
By John Blankenship Editor’s note: A memorial service for Ryan Ellison will be held at 2 pm Sunday at the Shady Spring Middle School. ...


Support Groups: Bereavement
Modesto Bee, CA - Jun 9, 2008
CHILDREN'S GRIEF CLASS: For children ages 6-12 who have experienced a loss. Call Hospice of Emanuel, 664-2550 for dates and times. ...


BBC News

Actress examines mother nurture
BBC News, UK - Jun 25, 2008
"Essentially they have the same horrors to get over - grief, loss, revenge, anger, and tragedy," she said. "The way forward is to put all those things ...


Volunteer Calendar
Austin American-Statesman, TX - Jun 29, 2008
My Healing Place — Support group facilitators needed to help adults and children dealing with grief, loss and trauma. No experience necessary; training ...


Children, nature united
phillyBurbs.com, PA - Jun 29, 2008
Tammi Grovatt-Dawkins and Keara Giannotti will soon transform the house into a counseling center for children coping with grief, loss and trauma. ...


Atwood trial ends; verdict seen next week
Kennebec Journal, ME - Jun 28, 2008
Alsop said he understood the "anguish, grief, loss and frustration" that he said "cries out for closure," but he said there must be "an absence of other ...

Grief-Loss - Google News



Grief-Loss Articles Home Page | Grief-Loss Articles Site Map | News | Faith411.com Home Page
EZmatic.com | IgoJo | UpBee | Blue Ryder | Health | ZippyGo | Ken J Wagner

Faith411.com - all Vital information and articles related to Grief and Loss.

© 2006